A recipe for living with cancer.

Does this Make Me Look FAT?

Some things never change, like our perception of our body.  I have always been overweight heavy thighs, big butt and as I age growing waistline.  I have dieted up and down hundreds of pounds and have been obsessed with the way I look from the waist down.  My breasts and my hair have never been part of this obsession because you can always cover hair, pull it back or wash it quick in the sink if all else fails.  My breasts were always just there, an ok size and shape and neither offensive nor of particular concern.

Therefore I guess it was no surprise when I decided to “go commando,” as Tom likes to say, and not cover my bald head after losing my hair.  Apparently I have a nice shaped head with “no divots” as Brent and everyone else commented.  And caring for a bald head as opposed to a head of hair…incredible, fast, easy and you NEVER have to worry if it looks good! The hardest part was actually losing my eyebrows and eyelashes because this has a dramatic effect on the appearance of your face.  Judy mentioned the word ghost and I realized that is a perfect description of how you look without them.  I would get up each morning and there was a washed out ghostly look to my face and a person who I did not recognize.

As my eyebrows and lashes have come back (eyebrows are really thin, oh well) I look in the mirror and there is color once again and I am starting to recognize the reflection.

Having my breasts removed has also been a bit odd in that I have not “mourned” their loss, but been grateful to have the cancer taken out.  I am alive, what more could one ask for.

After all of this– Tom and I walked out Saturday morning to take a walk in the beautiful weather.  As we walked out the door I turned to Tom and asked, “do these sweatpants make me look fat?”

He looked at me in disbelief and said, “I can’t believe you are asking me if you look fat after going for all these months with no hair.  Are you crazy?”

Some things never change.

Here is a great picture of Tom and me at Elizabeth’s wedding in October.   We are starting to look like twins as my hair grows in! Do you think this dress makes me look fat?  Just kidding!

photo-4

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: