I was reminded today of how lucky I am and how each day is a blessing. A friends sister in law died quite unexpectedly last week and I was stopped in my tracks. She was not ill that we know of, she was an integral part of the family’s life and business and she just passed.
Each day is a blessing and I hope not to forget this moving forward. Many times a tragic accident or illness or death reminds us how lucky we are to be among the living, to wake each day enjoy the sunshine, blue skies, rain or snow, but to be in the moment. We try to hold on to this feeling as long as we can, this appreciation for things we more often than not take for granted, wishing time away, being miserable in a situation or just not taking the time to be thankful. We usually hold on to this for a few weeks, sometimes a few months but most of us then get mired back into the minutia of life, the trials and tribulations, the complaints, the complacency and the everyday hassles of work, family and life. I don’t want to lose it this time.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and millions of us will sit around tables groaning with food surrounded by friends and family and outwardly give thanks for all that we have. We will stuff ourselves silly and moan about eating to much and not having any self control and later on sneak back into the kitchen for another bite of stuffing or pie, or perhaps even a sandwich with all the goodies piled high.
I hope to hold on to this thanks, this realization I am blessed each day to open my eyes and spend time with those I love, to experience, enjoy and appreciate. I find I am rising above the pains and aches of this last round of chemo. I am getting up and doing things and the fatigue be damned, the itching and pain so what, the numbness-phooey, the kids are calling me a rock star, I call it the end of one journey. I don’t have to anticipate any more of the infusions, I don’t have to fear the pain and side effects because in three weeks they will be gone, I don’t have to stay awake the night before an infusion anxious about the blood test, the exam and the IV, I don’t have to put on a happy face and joke and be positive about the poison flowing into my veins…I can just be.
Everything may not taste right tomorrow, I may get a bit of indigestion, I may be exhausted after I bone the turkey and make the stuffing. But I am here, I am alive, I am fighting breast cancer and I am thankful, each day is a blessing.
I wish you all (all 18 of you who read my blog!) a happy and healthy Thanksgiving, filled with joy and family and may the peace and warmth you find tomorrow continue with you each and every day.